Bumpy Rides
by Rhylin Sweet
Summary: If it can get you from point A to Point B it's in here! A bunch of oneshots about the OP gang and vehicles! Romance and death galore. Whether they are riding or talking about one a vehicle is in here! Various pairings of course! SanUso and ZoLu of course
1. A Simple Car Ride

Yay!

**A Simple Car Ride**

"He's gonna kill us all" The car made a violent jerk to the left.

Zoro's head smacked the window from the force. "Not if I kill him first" Sanji silently hoped so. While Luffy jerked the wheel left and right, while randomly hitting the break and gas, Usopp was screaming…yelling…sobbing…and jerking the wheel, trying to steer them to safety.

The young man in the driver's seat let out a spirited laugh. "Aw c'mon guys! It's not that bad! I can drive just perfect. Usopp, let go!" Usopp pulled at the wheel again steering them away from a pole. "Not while you hold our lives in your incapable hands!"

Sanji stared at his cell phone, debating over whether or not to call Nami to say his final goodbye. Zoro planned to kill Luffy if his head smacked the window again. Luffy punched the gas with his foot and they zoomed past 3 red lights, a school crosswalk and the movie theater. The movie theater, the one they were supposed to be going to.

Sanji stared forlornly out the window. "So much for a night out…" Zoro clicked his seatbelt in place. "As soon as Luffy jumped behind the wheel, my happiness was destroyed."

The blonde calmly lit a cigarette while the car made a sharp U-turn. "It was nice knowing you, bastard." Zoro shook Sanji's hand. "Like wise, asshole"

Usopp screamed in the passenger's seat when the car bumped into a pole, bounced back and continued driving. The bump had caused Sanji's cigarette to fall and Zoro's head to smack the window ferociously. The force had even unhooked his seatbelt, the recoil smacking him in the chin. He saw blood red. Zoro already had his hands around Luffy's neck, choking him and screaming while Usopp desperately turned the wheel into the parking lot.

The short dark haired boy clawed at Zoro's arms and punched him in the nose. Sanji was staring at his fallen cigarette. Not quite sure which action to take. He was too stunned and sad to choose.

Somehow Zoro had dragged Luffy into the back seat and they started fighting and wrestling. Luffy's fist bonked Sanji in the jaw and soon he joined the fight. Kicking and punching them both.

The long nosed teen had eased himself into the driver's seat and was now parking in a disabled parking space. Sanji's foot hit the back of Usopp's head and he collided with the steering wheel, instantly K.O.ed, the horn a constant sound.

The car was jumping and rocking while the horn blasted and the three boys fought in the back seat, till Nami opened the door to the backseat and they tumbled out, one by one.

Robin and Vivi stood behind her. Vivi nervously looked around; making sure no one there knew her. The dark haired woman just sighed next to her companions, watching the boys wince and stand up, hearing them groan. Nami opened the driver's door and dragged Usopp from the car, the horn stopped.

Robin leaned on the hood of the car, struggling not to laugh. The blue haired girl offered some napkins to the boys, to wipe the blood. She dabbed Usopp's forehead with a wet handkerchief and he slowly started to wake.

Nami whacked Sanji, Zoro, and Luffy in the head.

"This is the last straw! Next time, take the damn bus!"

**End**

Meepit! OMG Meepit! Lmao. Ok. So far for chapter one! Yayz! I apologize for any and all Misspellings and OOC. Or whatever.

I know there was no romance….but there will be. (Smiles)

Laterz Dudette


	2. Let Me Fix It

I was bored. Sue me. Chopper is 5. Usopp is 7 and Sanji is 9.

Implied SanUso. UsoCho friendship

**Let Me Fix It**

Chopper remembered the glorious bike he used to have. _Used_ to have, now the maroon paint was chipped and the brakes were broken. The handles were rusted as were the pedals.

His bike was junk. Chopper pulled the brim of his hat down. He'd never be able to ride it again. And Kureha has been so busy lately; she won't have time to buy him a new one. He had tried fixing it, but the kick stand only fell off and the bike chain snapped.

The little five yr old orphan sniffled. He sat down on his porch, next to his mutilated bike, and cried silently. His grandfather had given him that bike, as well as his hat. Now the bike was totaled. He curled up on the step and shook with silent sobs.

"Why are you crying?" Instinctively Chopper stuck out his legs and kicked the person in front of him back. A small boy with curly black hair under a green bandana pouted at him. He jumped up and dusted off his jumper and asked again. "Why are you crying? The great Captain Usopp can make it all go away!"

Chopper wiped his eyes hastily and glared. "I'm not cryin'!" The other boy, maybe seven or eight, walked around the ruined bike and tsked. "What a piece of junk! Need some help throwing it out?" The brunette jumped up and stood in front of his bike. "It's not junk and I'm not throwin' it away! Just leave me alone"

This Usopp person ignored him and continued walking around the bike. "It can be fixed yanno" Little Chopper's eyes widened. "Really?"

Usopp nodded. "The great captain Usopp can fix anything! Me and my dad fixed my bike just a week ago. I live down the street. You must've just moved here" Chopper nodded slowly and thought for a minute. It could be fixed? He glanced at the broken chain and chipped paint. It's not like it could be any worse. And he _was_ offering to help. Right?

"You'd help fix it? For me?" Usopp stuck his right thumb out and smiled brightly. "The great captain Usopp can never turn down someone in need! I'd never be able to face my crew again" Chopper looked on in amazement. "Wow. You have a crew?"

"Yep! Of about a hundred kids! They all look up to me, 'cause I'm the greatest"

Chopper sniffed. "You're lying" Usopp's smile faltered a bit. "Why would I lie? Lying solves nothing! And I'm telling the truth anyway"

So Chopper believed him.

**XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx**

Chopper watched his grandmother Kureha drive off with a wave. The babysitter, Dolton, ushered him inside and turned on some cartoons for him. But Chopper didn't want cartoons.

Usopp had promise to come today and help fix his bike. After weaving colorful tales that made Usopp seem like a god to naive little Chopper, Usopp promised to come back the next day and put his bicycle back in order. After about an hour of Ducktales, the door was knocked upon and Dolton chuckled as his charge ran to the door.

"Hi Usopp! I'm glad you're –"Standing behind his new friend was another boy, a blonde. He was a bit taller than Usopp and had on this strange looking white shirt, like a cook, and a lollipop was placed firmly between his lips.

"Hi Chopper. This is my friend Sanji. Sanji this is Chopper. I hope you don't mind but Sanji," The tanned boy kicked Sanji roughly "Followed me" The blonde waved dispassionately and stuck his hand back in his pocket. Chopper turned back to Dolton. "Dolton?"

"The old lady already told me what was up. Just stay in the yard so I can watch from the window. Have fun" Dolton felt chills down his spine. Karma was gonna strike him good for the old lady crack...he just knew it!

The brunette smiled and closed the door behind him. Usopp turned to Sanji. "Since you're here could you help us a bit?" Sanji looked from the rusted bike on the porch, to his white clothing. "I'm a cook not a mechanic"

Usopp puffed out his cheeks. "Then why the heck did'ja come for!" Chopper saw the blonde's cheeks tint pink and silently wondered why. Sanji lifted his left leg and pushed Usopp back on his shoulder. "I'm older than you so I don't gotta answer dat!" Usopp pouted and brushed past him angrily. It was then that Chopper noticed the red wagon. On the side were some words that Chopper couldn't read.

"It says 'Going Merry Go'" Sanji shrugged. "A friend of mine gave it to me" Usopp mumbled.

Chopper pulled his hat down more over his short brown hair and sat down next to Usopp, who was already slipping the old broken chain off.

They don't know how much time had pasted but they had fun. Chopper liked to watch Sanji refuse to hand Usopp a tool. Usopp would then call him a name and the blonde would kick him in the head. A few times they got into a wrestling match. Dolton had to come and help about a trillion times because the tool was either too dangerous or the task was too much for their little bodies. But Sanji helped. Occasionally.

Chopper almost squealed when Usopp took out a paintbrush. He had even brought new paint! It was shinier than the old paint, but it was still the same maroon color. "There. It's finished." Usopp collapsed on the grass in the yard and Chopper copied him. Sanji sighed through his lollipop and reached into the wagon, taking out a blue cloth bag.

"What's in there?" asked the youngest. "Food" he replied simply. Usopp rolled over quickly. "Lunch!" To Chopper's confused face the curly haired boy said "Sanji makes the best lunches. He always makes lunch for me"

"Why?" asked Chopper. Sanji blushed. "Dat's none of yer business shrimp"

Usopp was already on his second sandwich when Chopper was only halfway through his first. Usopp was right. Sanji made a good sandwich.

He looked at his shiny bike, the brakes were fixed and the chain was oiled. The handles had been replaced as well as the kickstand.

"Usopp? Where did you get the parts for me?"

"Hm?" His new best friend slurped some apple juice from a little carton. "We had them around the house. My mommy was mad about the mess. So I got rid of them, and made a new friend, _and _proved I'm the greatest!"

Little Chopper hugged the tanned boy. "You are the greatest!" Usopp hugged him back. Chopper saw Sanji twitch and grip his juice carton so hard that grape juice squirted out on his shirt and all over the three of them.

He had a funny feeling that Sanji didn't like him. Why, he would never know.

**End**

Ha! Jealous little Sanji. Cute! Ok. W/e. I did my thing here…I hope you liked it. Was it bad? Was it good? Did you laugh? Tell me and tell me QUICKLY! The button! No not there...There! Clik it quickly! It's dissapearing...Clik it!

I apologize for any and all OCC and/or Misspellings


	3. Impossible

I'm on a serious power high o.O

**Impossible**

"Why are we here again?" Nami restrained herself from smack Zoro in the head. Again. "Because this…Shanks guy is Luffy's hero. And as friends we must support him."

Sanji blew smoke from the side of his mouth. "Who made a stupid rule like that? This Shanks guy must be a real freak to get Luffy's attention" Zoro nodded in reluctant agreement.

"Maybe he can make eggs while doing some…trick thingy on his skateboard." Usopp shook his head. "I seriously doubt it, Chopper. Sanji's right. He's gotta be a freak." Robin just chuckled.

"Maybe not. Luffy wanted us to come and here we are." Nami looked at her watch. "Well, I wanna see the 'Most Wonderful Fantabulous Skater. Ever' that he wouldn't shut up about. I got things to do"

Zoro scoffed. "How shallow. Making money is more important than being there for a friend" The red head twitched. "Listen mister 'I wanna stay home and polish my shiny blades' It took us almost an hour to drag you outta your house" Zoro pushed his face into Nami's. "What was that?" "You heard me"

Deciding he'd heard enough of fighting for one day Chopper tugged at Robin's hand and they walked away. They pasted rollerblading freaks and skateboarding retards.

This one guy had make-up on, swan wings and a hat…with swans. Chopper tilted his head to the left when the strange man pirouetted on his rollerblades. Robin's face screwed up as she tried to digest the impossible act of this man pirouetting while going backwards on his skates. The little brunette tugged on the woman's hand again. It was best not to speak and just walk away slowly.

"Hello" Our favorite **(At least MY FAVORITE! And only when you think about it…)** long nose boy turned around and faced a guy with short black hair, which was gelled back. He pushed his round glasses up with the heel of his hand. Usopp looked at the black and white cartoon kitten on his shirt. It looked so cute…yet evil. "It seems you are bored here as well." Usopp coughed. "Uh, yeah." He looked around wildly for his friends. Damn, none in sight.

The boy held out his hand. "Kuro" Usopp coughed and nodded. "Nice name. Mine's uh… Hamtaro!" **(I couldn't resist. I just. COULDN'T.)** Kuro put down his hand. "Lets leave this place and do something else" Taking a wary step back he declined. "Nah, I got friends and all. Can't just leave them, you know how that goes" Kuro took a step forward, pushing his glasses up again. "I'm sure they'd understand."

Thankfully, Usopp was yanked to the side. "Zoro!" The green haired teen glared at him. "We've been lookin' all over for you. Sheesh, that guy is about to perform. Let's go so we can get this over with." Without a goodbye Usopp was dragged away from Kuro.

When they were well away Usopp hugged his arm. "You saved me!" Zoro shook his arm. "Get off long nose!"

"So that's where you guys went. Off to make out!" Zoro collapsed to one knee and started coughing, while glaring at Nami. An amazing feat. Usopp, who still had Zoro's hand, let go. "Ew. No. Not Zoro. He just saved my life from a freakish kitty stalker"

"It was just some guy trying to hit on you. You're always exaggerating!"

Nami cooed, "Aw. Wittle Zoro got jealous. Mwuahahahahahaha!"

"No!"

"Never!"

Nami sighed and turned. "Enough of your lies. The others are waiting."

Chopper was sitting down on a bench, Robin next to him, eating cotton candy. Usopp tried to steal some and got his hand bit. Sanji walked in from nowhere and sat down, he was unusually quiet and pale. Robin heard him mutter something about fish and swans. Odd.

Luffy bounced in his seat. Could you tell he was excited? "He's here. He's here!"

Robin pushed back her blowing hair while gazing at a red haired man on top of the ramp.

They watched him smile and then he slid down the ramp on the board.

Usopp twitched.

Zoro started coughing again.

Nami gasped. And gasped…

Little Chopper tilted his head.

Robin's face screwed up once more.

Sanji said "I was right...Only Luffy would pick some like..."

Luffy bounced on the bench more. "Isn't he good?"

Zoro covered his mouth. "But he has one-"

Sanji shook his head. "No"

"But look it's - !"

"No"

"How the _hell _can he skate with one-"

"Zoro. _NO_."

Zoro and Sanji fell silent. Impossible.

"He has…one arm. He skating with one arm" Luffy nodded at the youngest. "That's what makes him so great" Robin just sipped from her soda to calm her headache. "I don't know how, but I've seen lots of things today so I believe it. I'm seeing it, so I don't really have a choice" Nami muttered something about circus acts.

Sanji shakily took out a cigarette. "How did he lose his arm?"

"He was swimming and saved someone from a crocodile"

Zoro frowned. "Isn't that how you got that scar under your eye Luffy? From a swimming accident?" Sanji exhaled.

"No."

"It's too much of a coincidence"

"No"

"Sanji!"

"No, Zoro. Just…No"

Usopp stood up and announced he was gonna go get a soda. Glad to break the mood Nami snickered. "Better take your boyfriend with you, lest you end up in that stalker's hands"

Sanji spit out his cigarette and Chopper choked on his cotton candy. Robin and Luffy still discussed the 'one arm' situation.

"Boyfriend? Zoro and Usopp? Since when?" Nami smiled at Sanji's glare. "Usopp likes Zoro?"

"Don't listen to her Chopper!" Usopp yelled. "She's lying." Zoro scoffed. "Like you're one to talk" The curly haired teen pointed a dramatic finger at his friend. "So you support this lie! Maybe you really do like me…" He shivered. Zoro's face turned green like his hair. "Ick! No! No way long nose! Never in a millions years!"

Sanji kicked Zoro in the back. "The hell was that for?" The blonde shrugged. "Cause I wanted to" Zoro punched him in the arm. Kick. Punch.

Soon they were the ground wrestling, while their red head friend laughed. Then she spotted Vivi. "Hey! Vivi!" She waved the girl over, a blonde man in tow.

Vivi looked from Usopp leading Chopper away, to Luffy and Robin talking seriously, then to Sanji and Zoro fighting, and then at Nami, who was grinning so big she thought her mouth would split.

"I'm afraid to ask."

Nami chuckled "Just the usual. Zoro and Sanji are fighting for Usopp's affections"

"We are not!"

The blonde man next to Vivi stared at the ramp, entranced.

"He's skating with one arm!"

**End**

And it's over. Ugh. I hope you liked. I made mistakes I think but w/e.

:Dies:

Laterz Dudette


	4. Rock Me Slowly

I had caught my two gay friends having sex in a car. I was slightly traumatized. But it gave me the idea for this story. I'm sure the twitching will stop. Someday…

Zoro's POV.

**Rock Me Slowly**

On Tuesdays I take Nami out. We usually go to the mall or the movies. She buys all she wants, I just carry the bags and compliment on her new clothes. I guess she likes having someone like me around. Dangerous looking. I think she gets a power high from ordering someone like me around. Even though she says she's not afraid of me, (and sometimes I believe her) she still looks at me sometimes like I'm a killer. I guess the white switchblade I always carry doesn't help much either.

Usually after a night in the town we drive around in my car and park in the deserted woods near the beach. She lets me slip into the backseat before her and then like always, we have sex. It's always the same. My cute red head girlfriend is below me, flushed, and the car rocks rhythmically. Nothing really special. Average. I sometimes wonder why I keep her around. Compared to my others, she is my sense of balance, nothing boring, and nothing extreme. Just there.

On Wednesdays I have a lovely girl with blue hair at my side. Vivi. She came from some foreign country and her lightly accented voice kinda turns me on. She comes from a rich and powerful family; she came here to rebel against them. The way she describes them, I'm the perfect rebellious accessory. She's not a shallow kind of girl, but she likes class…at least until we hit the dance clubs. Her closet consists of stripped…everything

Combined with the swirling, flashing lights, the upbeat music and her sultry moves, we never stay downtown for more than three hours. And sometimes it's only half an hour. The way she acts, you'd never guess she was of noble descent. But when I strip her of her stripes, I'm reminded painfully. Her skin is pale and white…like my favorite switchblade. She is the only lover I have ever fucked slowly. Sometimes it takes hours for one sex session to end. I don't want to bruise her soft skin. Like a baby's cradle, the car rocks painfully slow.

Thursday are when I take my ex best friend Luffy out. I say ex because when someone becomes my lover I don't consider them a friend. Strange but true. Yosaku cut all ties with me when he found out about my other lovers besides Luffy. Johnny is still deciding. It's been a few months, how time does he fucking need? Anyway, my hyper Thursday lover likes to go to the arcade. And eat. So basically to make him as happy as possible we set out at around noon and spend the day doing anything. He likes to compete against me a lot. Basketball is the only game I can never beat him in. I swear to god I think he stretches when he shoots. Then we go to several places at a time and eat. Pizza place, then the burger palace, ice cream, then Chinese food. If it has meat, we eat there.

When it comes to sex I must say Luffy never keeps me bored. Even though he never carries anything with him, he's always spreading something over me or himself. Little prick, he is. I am always top. Always. End. Even though it's my cock inside him, I'm always on the bottom, on my back while he rides me. Basically he has full control. It amazes me how he can be such a loveable child during the day and then a little hyperactive nymph at night. He's never silent and the car gets wobbly as he jerks around when he comes. He likes putting his hand on the window and watching it smudge.

Oddly, Saturdays are my favorite. It's just Sanji. We meet up in front of his workplace. When he sees me come up he blows smoke in my face and sneers "Zoro. Bout time you showed up" I smirk and give him the bird. "Shut up asshole."

And then we just walk. Anywhere. There is no shopping, no talking (unless we're arguing) no anything. Very rarely do we even eat out. He just walks beside me, calmly smoking his cancer sticks and occasionally complimenting a female or throwing insults my way. Even though it's my car, he always drives. The woods are always silent when we arrive. Sometimes it starts with one of us just kissing the other, or a punch, but sometimes Sanji pushes his lit cigarette into my arm, leg or neck, or I give him a little nick with my blade.

Somehow, we end up kissing and fighting while ending up in the backseat. We always curse and yell. Arguing even while having sex. He is the only person I have let take me. Lately he has been top more often, not that I mind though. While swimming in the pleasure of him fucking me into last year and the pain of him biting my neck, I noticed the ferocious rhythm of the car. Sometimes the rocking is louder than us, that's just how wild we sometimes get. We never leave the woods without some kind of wound or scar. And I like it like that. We just naturally clash and it's maddening.

I love Saturdays.

**End**

There. My life is now over. Yes yes yes. That was **(AHEM!)** there goes the neighbor hood.

**Read:** There was another ending to this. It was Um (Blush) interesting to say the least. Only a few ppl read it and only 2 reviewed it before I deleted it. I still have it on my comp tho. So if u want it to read….send me a line wit ur email and I'll email it to u. I kept reading it over and got all freakish, so I took it out… Basically Sanji and Usopp, sex. And Zoro unrequited love thing. Kinda. Ok. Send me a line through email or review with ur email and u can have it to read…

One Piece and cars…The next one might be about ice skating. Ionno….ice skating. And this next one will be in OT. Original TIMELINE. I need to get bak to that. And kwickly… hope u like it. Spare my withering soul… and just to refresh some pplz memories (cough) FLAMERS (cough) Fanfiction/Fanart is OOC within itself! So don't get ur boxers in a twist just cuz u see sum OOC. Unless it's like REASONABLE.

Like Zoro crying cuz his nail broke. Now THAT, u can flame. Unless its crack…no…u don't flame crack fics…Anyway, I just got tired of retards hatin' on all these yaoi fics. Saying its OOC, When they write stories which are OOC. The difference is…? PSHAW! Retards.

Lord, I can talk for hours bout this. But I can't. So I won't. So it's over. So there. (Smiles)

( Passes around a bottle of bleach) for ur burning eyes.

Laterz Dudette


	5. Let Me Be With You

I got this idea while driving in the car wif ma momma! Its kinda short tho. But sad. I'm glad u all like my stories XD I wuv u all!

**Let Me Be With You**

Twisting the key in place, the car revved to life.

Sitting in the passengers seat, Monkey D. Luffy reached out to touch Roronoa Zoro, but stopped halfway, pulling his hand back quickly. "I wish you wouldn't do this"

The rubber wheels turned slowly as the green haired man back out of the drive-way, ignoring his lover's words. "I've made up my mind" Luffy chuckled "Sanji always called you stubborn…" Zoro smiled softly at the mention of his friends name "Yeah. Now he'll have a real reason to now"

Soon they were cruising down the highway, steadily picking up speed. Luffy turned to Zoro "Please don't –" The muscle built male put a hand up to silence him, then made a motion as if brushing back Luffy's jet black, blood soaked hair. But not a strand moved.

Luffy looked down at his ruined clothes in embarrassment and anger. Why couldn't Zoro just listen to him? Just once in his life? The younger man laughed bitterly at his words and ignored Zoro's climbing speed.

Making a sharp turn Zoro spotted the place. That unforgettable, memorable, hateful place.

That spot! Suddenly, Luffy snatched the wheel. "No Zoro! You coward, don't you dare!"

Being stronger Zoro yanked it back, almost colliding into a huge log truck. No, not here. Not by a truck….

"I don't care! I want –"

"I want you to be happy!" Pull

"If you let me do this I will be happy!" Snatch back

Luffy let go of the wheel and looked at his fingers and wiped them on his dirty shirt. "I won't!"

Before Luffy could touch the wheel, Zoro stomp on the pedal and that burst of speed carried them over the cliff and into the forest the highway was built next to. And into a tree. That same…fucking…damn…tree.

………………………

Luffy tapped Zoro. And tapped him again. He shook him and Zoro opened his eyes. Or eye. The other was swollen and filled with blood.

Red blood, almost pink with saliva, dribble past split swollen lips when he smiled. Luffy wiped at the tears lining his face and tried to pull Zoro out of the wreckage. Damnit!

Damn fucking rules! Then he sat back in his mangled seat, giving up, and started to sob. Zoro closed his eyes.

**XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx**

_**CRASH**_

Sanji twisted his torso around, looking through the kitchen door to the dining room.

Zoro's favorite plate lay smashed on the floor. No one was in the room.

Vivi, having run from the other room to see what happened, saw the plate.

Her bottom lip started to shake and her vision got blurry.

Turning back to the stove, the blonde started shaking more pepper on the steaks. He gripped the shaker tightly.

Not again. God damn it. Not _Again!_

**XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx ( One Week Later)**

The TV's glare filled the dark room with an eerie light, casting images on the walls…

"-last week a 20 yr old male was killed in a car accident. To others it might seem like a careless driving mistake. Or maybe even a hit and run. But because of an accident that happened one year ago, the police suspect suicide."

Nami changed the channel.

"Suicide. It not a coincidence that this young man died on the exact same day as -"

Click.

"Thanks Bob. And now to this shocking suicide story. A young man drove through the rails of highway I-95 and plummeted-"

Nami's breathing picked up as she clicked the remote more frantically.

"And he landed into the small patch of wildlife and into a tree. The same tree that he'd crashed into one year ago, that killed his 17 year old lover, Monkey D Luffy while driving him home from a party"

Nami threw the remote at the wall and the channel changed, she willed the tears not to come.

"The exact same date. Same time. Same Place. And even the _same tree_! I'll tell you Alyssa, this man was determined to die. He must've really loved this young man."

The TV crashed against the wall, exploding in a flash of sparks. Sanji twisted around from his well placed kick and tried to ignore Nami's sobbing. He also tried to ignore the banging coming from the room on the left, Robin's room.

The phone rang and he saw Usopp's name in the screen.

Stupid Marimo. Stupid asshole. Stubborn motherfucker!

He picked up the phone.

**End**

There. I'm done. This made me like…Sad! I was driving if my mom and thought about my first chp. What if luffy had died?

So I switched sum stuff and here it is! Kinda short but I did it.

Be nice to me!

I hope u liked it!

Laterz Dudette


	6. Birthday Shopping

Um…Ok. Here we go my pplz….The vehicle? A Shopping Cart. But me and my mom call it a Basket. eheh...

**Birthday Shopping**

The basket gave a slight rattle as Sanji leaned all his weight on the handle, leaning forward and walking slowly and leisurely.

Hmmmm…Peas? Or Corn?

Go with the corn… He restrained himself from looking at the shiny knives. Although they were obsolete compared to his own at home, but they were so shiny and pretty. He could use them for the more mundane cooking. Shiny…

"Sanji! Lookit! Chocolate Cocoa Sugary Hyper Puffz! With Sugar loaded Marshmallows!"

On second thought. He could use them for murder. Slow, bloody murder. Usopp came from around the corner, two boxes of cereal in his arms. With a brief glance he noticed that the word "Sugar" was in every sentence. Hypnotism. Ingenious.

The tanned youth tossed the diabetic hazards into the cart and started walking away. Grr. He was shopping for Nami's Birthday! Not for the house!

Standing up straight, the blonde pushed the cart into the bread aisle. Hmmm. Buy the hotdog buns? Or make them myself?

"Sanji! Look! Steaks! And pork chops!" Several packages of meat fell into the cart and Sanji only caught the back of a red shirt and the edge of a straw hat before Luffy disappeared around the corner.

Aaaahhh! Was he made of money or something? Was he a credit card? Sheesh. Freaks. He decided to make the buns himself. Make everything from scratch. Anything for his Nami-san. He bent down to grab a bag of flour and stopped.

The hairs on the back of his neck prickled and his body felt warm. Like 'Another body is too close' warm.

Big hands pulled his hips back against a solid body and he stood, rigid. "You asshole. We've only been here ten minutes"

His head was turned slightly soon he was in a deep kiss. The lips pulled away and the heat suddenly vanished. Putting a hand to his warm cheeks, the sexy cook willed his face to cool down.

He briefly noted several cartons of Gatorade and some boxes of energy bars.

Bastard….

He grumbled and moved to the next aisle. Erk. Canned food. NEXT!

He was in the corner looking at supposedly fresh oranges when he felt a tug on his suit. Looking down into brown eyes, his left eye twitched when a bag of chips was shoved into his face. Scowling, he turned away. The tugging began again, with a bit of growling this time.

Dropping the fruit, Sanji snatched the bag of spicy chips from Tony T. Chopper's hands and threw it into the cart and glared at the short teen. Tony glared back.

After a few minutes, and some staring from other shoppers, Tony disappeared into the bread aisle, leaving Sanji with the plants. Hn. He ripped off a few plastic bags and stuffed random fruits and vegetables in them, only checking if they were fresh, not if he needed it.

He held his nose and looked away when he passed by the fish. If he smelled or looked at even one fish, he'd have to buy them all. His fridge was too full to handle anymore fish. The temptation…

Luckily his cell phone rang and it was Robin, asking if he was done shopping because Nami's shift ended in a few hours. Jolted back to reality by the voice of a lady, Sanji rolled the basket into a checkout and patted his pocket. The rectangular box calming him somewhat. He hadn't had a smoke since he entered the store. That was an hour ago.

Soon Luffy came from around the corner with some packages. Usopp had more sweet stuff, this time they were cupcakes. And Zoro had several boxes of who knows what.

Everytime. Every damn time.

**XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx**

Walking inside the apartment with only a few bags in his hands, Sanji dropped them on the kitchen table and sat down on a stool, trying to decide what to make first. He was running out of time…

"Sanji! Where's my meat! NOOOOOOO!" turning around to the sink, the blonde began to wash vegetables, ignoring the frantic rustling of plastic bags. "Usopp!"

"My cereal! My cupcakes! My _super deluxe candy pack_! Sanji! What did you do with our stuff?"

"You damned bastard cook. You put it all back didn't you?" Turning around, Sanji glared through the small cloud of cigarette smoke. He went into one of the bags and picked up a bag of chips, tossed them to Chopper and proceeded to look for a good knife in one of the drawers.

Usopp put a hand to his forehead. "But we saw it. We saw them go through the checkout. How?"

Luffy was tugging on the cook's sleeve, whining. Zoro just went outside into the car and searched the trunk. Nothing. Not a bag. But they went through checkout! He put them in the trunk himself! How the hell does this happen?

Everytime. Every damn time!

**End**

This was pointless. And I personally hate it :smiles:

But my friend, CURSE HER ETERNAL SOUL TO HELL AND BACK, dared me to do 3 fics. Without SanUso.

My heart is kinda breaking now. But accepted her challenge. Like a fool. :sniffles: Sanji-kun…Usoppu-chan… I think I might have to break this promise o.O but SSSSSHHHH. She doesn't have to know T.T

EVER. j/k

Laterz Dudette


End file.
